Types: a short story about the Potato Family

Subject: a short story about the Potato Family
Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking
From: (sf)
Date: Sun, 07 Nov 1999 17:25:55 GMT
You know that all potatoes have eyes. Well, Mr. and Ms. Potato had eyes for each other and got married. Eventually, they had a little one - a real SWEET POTATO - whom they called "YAM".

They wanted the best for little Yam, telling her the facts of life. They warned her about going out half baked because she could end up labeled with a name like Hot Potato or worse yet, nailed, and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

However, she told her parents that they need not worry ------ no Mr. McSpud would get her in the sack and make a Rotten Potato out of her! But she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either. She would get plenty of food and exercise so as not to be like her Shoestring cousins.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato warned her about the dangers of going off to Europe because they were overprotective as, parents tend to be with their young sprouts. They told her that she needed to aware of those Hard Boiled guys from Ireland and that greasy gang called the French Fries. "Those spuds are just mashers," her parents exclaimed, "don't let them peel you with their eyes and be sure to keep your jacket on at all times!"

With trepidation, they also warned her about the dangers of going to the American wild West because they were afraid she might be Scalloped. She assured them she wouldn't associate with those snooty Blue Belles or the other ones from the wrong side of the tracks who advertise their trade on the trucks you see around town that say Frito Lay.

Mr. & Mrs. Potato wanted the best for their precious Yam, so they sent her to "Idaho P.U." - that's Potato University, because "Old P.U." is the alma mater of many Big Potatoes. They hoped that a superior education combined with her unique breeding and talent would put her in the Chips after graduation. But, one day she came home and said she wanted to marry Walter Cronkite.

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were quite upset and advised her not to marry him because he's just a.......

(Now wait on the punch line)

(a watched pot never boils)

(patience is a virtue)

(just a little longer)

<drum roll>